Is There a “Worst” Time to Get Divorced?

Getting a divorce is expensive, it is (somewhat) public, and it can completely upend your life while it is going on. If you are the one contemplating divorce, you likely understand that timing is important. Depending on how long your marriage has lasted, your life and your spouse’s life are completely intertwined. The process of ending a marriage and dividing a family is emotionally and financially traumatic. If there are children involved, your divorce will change the course of their lives, and if not undertaken thoughtfully, can have a lasting, negative impact on their life.

Given the fact that there is probably no such thing as the “perfect” time to divorce, there are some things that you must weigh with regard to timing. Here are some examples of what might be a “bad” time to get a divorce:

• Prior to a big, family event such as your daughter’s wedding or your son’s graduation or your parents’ 40th anniversary celebration.
• Before the winter holidays. Waiting until after Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s celebrations are over is doing yourself and everyone else concerned a big favor. This might be why January is the unofficial divorce month.
• Before an expected bonus
• Before or in the midst of selling a family business

These are just some general examples, but that doesn’t mean they will automatically apply to you and your situation. It also doesn’t mean that you and your spouse can’t discuss the possibility of divorce just because your child’s birthday is around the corner. When we say a time is “bad” to divorce, we mean it in terms of initiating the process.

Furthermore, there may be reasons why waiting is not in your best interest, regardless of the timing. Those reasons might include:

• Your spouse is abusive or violent toward you or your children. If you believe that your safety or your child’s safety is in jeopardy, then there is no waiting around for the timing to be right. You get out and find a place of safety and then get advice and guidance about how to proceed.
• You have experienced infidelity. If you or your spouse has moved on with someone new before your dissolution proceedings have begun, then it is time to move forward in the process. This is not to say every couple who experiences infidelity will split; many try counseling and eventually work through their issues. But if one of you has invested in a long-term relationship with another person outside the marriage, or can be labeled as a “serial cheater,” then remaining married does neither or you any good.
• The two of you want different things, you have different values and are unable to come to an agreement.
• You are fighting excessively, and that fighting is affecting you, your children, your family members and your friends.
• You have been putting it off, despite your mutual unhappiness, because there’s never been a “right” time.

Before you come to a final decision, you may consider speaking to a marriage counselor or a trusted member of the clergy to get some objective advice to help guide your thinking. You can also speak with a divorce attorney and get some legal guidance about the timing of your divorce. At LaFevor & Slaughter, you work with a compassionate and skilled Knoxville divorce attorney who can help you move forward. Please contact us to reserve an appointment.